<TITLE>Chicken Scratches</TITLE> </HEAD> <BODY BGCOLOR=#000000 TEXT=#FFFFFF LINK="#00FFFF" VLINK="#FF00FF" ALINK="#FF0000"> <center><font size=4> <a href="index.html"><IMG SRC="ovalepd.jpg" align="center" alt="" border=0><IMG SRC="smallrch.jpg" align="center" width=281 height=64 alt="the radioactive chicken heads" border=0></img></a>Bird is the Word </br> </font> </center> GROWING MOLD album:<br><br><a href="growingmold.html"><img src="rach200.jpg" border="0" height="200" width="200" alt="THE RADIOACTIVE CHICKEN HEADS: Growing Mold" align=right></a> <A HREF="#BONES">1. Bag O' Bones</A><br> <A HREF="#MIRROR">2. The Mirror</A><br> <A HREF="#WALTZING">3. Waltzing On Eggshells</A><br> <A HREF="#EARTHMEN">4. Earth Vs. The Earthmen</A><br> <A HREF="#MOLD">5. Growing Mold</A><br> <A HREF="#STITCH">6. Stitch Me Up</A><br> <A HREF="#PEST">7. Pest Control</A><br> <A HREF="#ARCHAEO">8. Archaeopteryx</A><br> <A HREF="#KIDS">9. I Eat Kids</A><br> <A HREF="#LASTSONG">10. Our Last Song</A><br> <br><br> KEEP ON CLUCKIN' album:<br><br> <A HREF="#CLUCK YOU!">Cluck You!</A><br> <A HREF="#LOOK">Look Both Ways</A><br> <A HREF="#LIQUID">Liquid Fat</A><br> <A HREF="#DEVIL">Deviled Egg</A><br> <A HREF="#NOSTRILS">The Man Without Nostrils</A><br> <A HREF="#MUTATE">Mutate</A><br> <FONT SIZE=+1><CENTER> <H3><B><A NAME="BONES">BAG O'BONES</B></H3></A> Once upon a time, I was a piece of slime. Sitting on a rock, learning how to walk, learning how to talk, learning how to get a job, make some money, buy a car, maybe invest in some stock. But from time to time, I still feel like slime but now I'm a big bag, big bag o' bones. I'm a big bag, big bag o' bones. Big bag, big bag o' bones. I'm a big bag, big bag o' bones. Big bag, big bag, big bag o' bones, I'm a big bag, big bag o' bones. Big bag, big bag o' bones I'm a big bag, big bag, biig baaag, biiig baaaag, biiiig baaaaag......Once upon a time, I was piece of slime, yeah. Full of hopes and schemes. Life could be a dream: two kids, a wife, a washing machine. Then I got old. They threw me out in the cold like a moldy tangerine. I'll give 'em a piece o' my mind but where is my spine? In a big bag o' bones, big bag big bag o' bones, in a big bag, big bag o' bones. Big bag, big bag o' bones, in a big bag, big bag o' bones. Big bag, big bag, big bag o' bones,in a big bag, big bag o' bones Big bag, big bag, big bag o' bones, in a big bag, big bag, biig baaag, biiig baaaag, biiiig baayaagg uvvvv boauhnnzzz..... <H3><B><A NAME="MIRROR">THE MIRROR</B></H3></A> <I>By <a href="http://www.barrylou.com/" target="_blank">Barry Louis Polisar</a> © 1983</i><p> I looked into the mirror. What did the mirror say? "You're the ugliest kid I've seen, will you please go away!!!" My feelings had been hurt. My pride was damaged. I was crushed. My hair was combed, my clothes were clean, my teeth had all been brushed. Took my father's overcoat and a faded old bow tie, came back to the mirror to get a new reply. Mirror mirror on the wall, how do I look to you? "Just like that ugly kid!," the mirror said as I withdrew. I looked into the mirror. What did the mirror say? "You're the ugliest kid I've seen, will you please go away!!!" Found my mothers make-up kit and my grandmother's old wig. Got some lipstick on my mouth and I made my chest look big. Put my sister's sweater on and I rolled up both my sleeves. Mirror was so silent, I was so relieved. Then finally the mirror spoke and made me feel so dumb. It said, "You're still weird and ugly...how come?" I looked into the mirror. What did the mirror say? "You're the ugliest kid I've seen, will you please go away!!!" Couldn't please that mirror, no matter how I tried. I spent money time and energy and lots of nights I cried. I realized that though it's good to see the way you look, what's important is who you are, that's what I mistook. Yeah, the best reflection of who you are comes from another place so I bought a brand new mirror.....and got a haircut just in case! I looked into the mirror. What did the mirror say? "You may be the ugliest kid I've seen, but please don't go away!!!" <H3><B><A NAME="WALTZING">WALTZING ON EGGSHELLS</B></H3></A> <I>Instrumental</i> <H3><B><A NAME="EARTHMEN">EARTH VS. THE EARTHMEN</B></H3></A> There's a little ball that floats in space with some tiny specs called the human race. As we observe from the nerve endings fixed to our brains, it appears that we're not the first to invade. Who pointed these missiles with earth as their aim? It may sound insane but from what we've determined, it's Earth versus the Earthmen. With arms extended across the skies, planning for the planet to be pulverized. Let's go back home. Turn this ship around because what goes up must come down. <H3> <B><A NAME="MOLD">GROWING MOLD</B></H3></A> A centipede scurries along. Water skeeters skitter on the pond. The wind carries a seed. A sparrow builds a nest with some twigs. A snail chews on a leaf. A flea hops on a cat. A human being, being and nothing but that. Growing mold in my heart. Growing mold in my brain. Growing mold all around me. It's eating me away. In my room, a dark and dusty hole. Gilligan's done it again and I lost my remote control. But when I get out of bed, I'll never waste time again. I'll break the door open and the sun will burst in. Growing mold in my heart. Growing mold in my brain. Growing mold all around me. It's eating me away. <H3><B><A NAME="STITCH">STITCH ME UP</B></H3></A> Well, I'm falling apart or so it seems. Got a broken heart tearing at the seams. All tattered up from being dragged around. Polyethylene trails across the ground. So won't you stitch me up? Stitch me up. Stitch me up. Make me feel like new. I'm hoping you...Get out your needle and your thread and sew the eyeball on my head so I won't be too blind to see the beauty right in front of me and stitch me up. Stitch me up. Stitch me up. Make feel like new. I'm hoping you... <H3><B><A NAME="PEST">PEST CONTROL</B></H3></A> Are you getting sick and tired of the rodent infestation? Then call the best in pest extermination. There's a nasty problem at the pizza parlor down the street and the customers are complaining that they're too disgusted to eat. It inhabits a dark and noisy world filled with little children and feeds on greasy pizza that's dropped on the filthy floor there. It's pest control so everything's all right. I'm gonna kill Chuck E. Cheese tonight. I'm gonna kill that dirty rat. I'm gonna take his life. I'll cut off his tail with a carving knife! Even if it stands at five foot-five, weighs 180 pounds, but it won't escape alive. Setting up traps in every corner in every room, the job isn't over until old Chucky meets his doom. It's pest control so everything's all right. I'm gonna kill Chuck E. Cheese tonight. We finally got Chucky out of the house. Tomorrow, I'll go to Disneyland and kill Mickey Mouse. Erasing rodents from our sight, pest control on patrol tonight. <H3><B><A NAME="ARCHAEO">ARCHAEOPTERYX</B></H3></A> <I>Instrumental</i> <H3><B><A NAME="KIDS">I EAT KIDS</B></H3></A> <I>By <a href="http://www.barrylou.com/" target="_blank">Barry Louis Polisar</a> © 1975</i><p> Well, I always thought that cows looked prettier in a field than on my plate at supper being served up as the meal. And I never did like hamburgers. I never did like steak. I prefer chickens cackling instead of fried, cooked or baked. Well, I stopped eating animals and I'm glad I finally did but I get my protein 'cause I eat kids. Well, it used to be a problem just eating rice and beans and I think you probably know exactly what I mean. And I never really knew if I was eating all I should but I don't have that problem now and it feels pretty good. Well, I stopped eating animals and I'm glad I finally did but I get my protein 'cause I eat kids. So it's goodbye liver, goodbye roast beef, Hello Tommy, Michael, and Denise. I don't eat chicken and I don't eat cows. I don't eat animals, I eat children now. Well, I stopped eating animals and I'm glad I finally did but I get my protein 'cause I eat kids. <H3><B><A NAME="LASTSONG">OUR LAST SONG</B></H3></A> This is our last song. The band they wanted passed on the show so they told us we could play. But we've outdone our welcome. We'd play more songs and tell some jokes but here comes the cane. Thank you very much. You've all been great. We shoulda broke up in 1998. We'd probably do better in another state or maybe in Japan. They would understand. This is our last song. I promise you that so soon we're gettin' outta here. Mr. Soundman, don't be nervous. We know you don't deserve this damage we've done to your ears. Now you can watch the bands that you really came to see. We shoulda broke up in 1993. I shoulda stayed home and watched TV like one of those shows about UFO's. This is our last song, our "get this over fast" song, not the best song we ever wrote. This is our last song. I promise it won't last long 'cuz there's only 2 more notes. The end. <A NAME="CLUCK YOU!"><H3><B>CLUCK YOU!</A></H3></B> Cover your ears and cover your eyes. We're back and now we're giant size. They locked us up in the coop but we escaped and now we're on the loose. Sgt. Psychlopps' militia will enlist you. Don't blow your nose on Bird Brain's neuro tissue. Greasy Chicken's here to rock 'n' roll. El Pollo Diablo will possess your soul. Carrot Topp and Bone Head will ruin your day. We're the Chicken Heads and we've got on thing to say....Cover your ears and cover your eyes 'cuz we've come back to terrorize! They locked us up in the coop but we escaped and now we're on the loose. Cherry Tomato is getting ready. The Pastafarian's got lasagna and spaghetti. Poultry Geist is here to haunt you more and Puke Boy just barfted all over the floor. Frankenchicken is heading your way. We're the Chicken Heads and we've got one thing to say: Cluck You! <H3><B><A NAME="LOOK">LOOK BOTH WAYS</B></H3></A> Look both ways before crossing the street or get better acquainted with the concrete. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the other side. But it didn't watch out for oncoming traffic and it got hit by a teenage driver going for a joyride. It sent him on up to that big chicken coop in the sky so look both ways before crossing the street. <H3><B><A NAME="LIQUID">LIQUID FAT</B></H3></A> An experiment gone haywire at the company lab, trying to develop a substitute for unsaturated flab. I was only an assistant but I thought that I was smart so I held on to some chemicals they told me to discard. I mixed fatty acids and glycerol compounds with the new substance I had and soon an oily creature grew out of control. Its size increased like mad. It looks like we're in trouble, but what can we do? We're being attacked by a greasy glob of goo. As it slides slowly down the street, dripping its slippery slime. We try to plan our escape before we run out of time. Now it's getting closer, but how do you make it stop? Nobody will fight it. It took out forty cops. I see something strange in viewing range, what the hell is that? Oh no, I can't believe it! It's Liquid Fat! <H3><B><A NAME="DEVIL">DEVILED EGG</H3></B></A> The deviled egg is cracked as the beak pecks through the shell. Look at what has hatched: a chicken head straight outta hell! This evil chicken reigns in blood, a little south of heaven. He lives at number 666, next door to 667. Behold the visage of sheer terror. Nothing could be more scary. They call him El Pollo Diablo but you can call him Larry. <H3><B><A NAME="NOSTRILS">THE MAN WITHOUT NOSTRILS</B></H3></A> On the night he was born, they saw that he was deformed. The doctor said he'd be better off dead. But his mother replied, "He'll be all right without a couple of holes in his head. He'll be a man without nostrils but he'll turn out just fine. He can breathe through his mouth and he'll have a good life. He'll be a man without nostrils, a regular guy except he doesnºt have a nose." Off he went to school but he couldn't fit in. He was ceaselessly tormented by the other kids. As he was walking home one afternoon, they jumped him and they slugged him till he was black and blue. "He's that kid without nostrils, let's make him cry. He can bleed through his mouth and we'll have a good time. He's the kid without nostrils. What a weird looking guy. He can't even pick his nose." He couldnºt live a normal life with an abnormal face so he decided to run away. He got joined up with the traveling side show cuz when you got no nose where else would you go? "Come see the man without nostrils, you won't believe your eyes. Pay one thin dime and have a good time. See the man without nostrils, an astounding sight. See the man born without a nose." Well, the 1970s came to pay and they put his face on shirts that said "Have A Nice Day" but then he fell ill and he died in bed and on the next day his obituary read, "He was a man without nostrils but he turned out just fine. He could breathe through his mouth and he had a good life. A man without nostrils, an regular guy but he didnºt have a... <H3><B><A NAME="MUTATE">MUTATE</A></B></H3> When you visit our farm, don't be alarmed if things seem a little bizarre. A carrot is walking, the tomato is talking and chickens are playing guitars. Radiation to the population has caused an alteration in genetic information. Our DNA's been rearranged, now my genes are changed, I'm the new mutation. From the soil to the pond, strange species are spawned and now mutants are abound. It's been this way ever since the day that the sky fell down down down. Cultivation of the vegetation brings a realization of our peculiar situation. The harvest we yield in an electromagnetic field bears the nuclear seal of contamination. </FONT> <P> <img src="frankench.gif" align=center></img> <p></p> All the lyrics here except for two songs by Barry Louis Polisar are copyrighted by the Radioactive Chicken Heads so don't even think about stealing them, pal. </CENTER><P><P></P> <p> <BR> <center><font size=2><a href="index.html">home</a> | <a href="shows.html">news/shows</a> | <a href="photoalbums.html">pictures</a> | <a href="bio.html">history</a> | <a href="sounds.html">audio/video</a> | <a href="discographycds.html">discography</a> | <a href="articles.html">press</a> | <a href="links.html">links</a></font> </center></B></BR> <BR><br> </BODY> </HTML>